Sunday, August 12, 2012
Buku Penderitaan
Halaman buku ini dipenuhi
tulisan nasib dan catatan luka
sementara kata-kata
telah lama kekeringan makna.
Jika diselak
bau darah menerpa
dari setiap helaian
rintih pedih hiba tangisan
mengapung di awangan
Sayang,
keangkuhan mereka
tidak memandang
mata hati terus terpejam
meski dihadapkan rentetan malang
disapa resah tulang- temulang
hitam pena kuasa mencoret
huruf kezaliman tidak bertitik
angka kematian tidak bernoktah
Semakin tebal buku penderitaan
terbiar di rak dunia
semakin nipis lembar kemanusian
terhampar di jiwa manusia.
Nazim Mohd Subari
Berita Minggu, 3 Oktober 2004
Monday, July 23, 2012
The 39th Lesson
Today (April 30) is my 39th Un-un-birthday, and as usual, the day is a good day to pause and reflect.
Last year I wrote 38 Life Lessons I’ve Learned in 38 Years, and people seemed to find some use in it.
This year, I thought I’d share an additional lesson I’ve learned:
You’re not missing out.
Our lives are often ruled by the Fear of Missing Out, or FOMO. (Never heard of FOMO? You’re missing out.)
Some ways we let the fear of missing out rule us:
- We check email, Facebook, Twitter and other social networks often, in case we’re missing something important.
- We try and do the most exciting things, and are constantly in search of exciting things, because we’re worried we might miss out on the fun that others are having.
- We constantly read about what other people are doing, and try to emulate them, because it sounds like they’re doing something great that we’re not.
- We often want to travel the world, because it seems that other people are living amazing lives by traveling all the time.
- We miss what we don’t have, miss places and people who we aren’t with.
- We work constantly, because we think if we don’t, we might miss out on opportunities other people will get.
- We feel like our own lives are poor in comparison with the great lives others are leading, and so feel bad about ourselves.
I could go on and on, but I have a birthday breakfast to eat (Eva and the kids are baking something delicious), so I’ll stop there.
We fear missing out, but why?
The truth is, we could run around trying to do everything exciting, and travel around the world, and always stay in touch with our iPhones and Crackberries, and work and party all day long without sleep … but we could never do it all. We will always be missing something.
And so, if we cannot help missing out, what is a saner alternative than letting this fear drive us? Let go of it, and realize you have everything right now.
The best in life isn’t somewhere else. It’s right where you are, at this moment. There is nothing better than exactly that.
Pause for just 10 seconds, and notice where you are, what you’re doing, who you are, at this very moment. Notice that you are breathing, and how lovely that is. Notice that you can smile, and feel the joy in that. Notice the good things around you. Give thanks for the people you’ve seen today. Celebrate the perhaps not altogether insignificant fact that you are alive.
This moment, and who you are, is absolutely perfect.
You are missing nothing, because there is nothing better.
You can breathe, and let go of all that fear of missing out, and be happy with what you have. Be grateful, and each moment think not about what you’re missing, but what you’ve been given.
This past year has been my best ever, because each day I have celebrated my Un-birthday with a smile and warmth in my heart. Today, I celebrate my non-un-birthday, and it is perfect. This moment I have spent talking to you is a gift. Thank you, my friends.
Original: http://zenhabits.net/39th/
Saturday, July 07, 2012
Connecting with the Lord
Change, for Allah.
Change, for His forgiveness.
Change, for His Mercy.
Change, to His love.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Refleksi dunia di India
Kalau kufikirkan
Kuingati semula kisah bangsa selatan-tengah rantauan Asia
Hidup sempit
Umpama terpalit dgn perih malang
Aku rasa
Rajin, bangsa rajin
meski terik panas
biar dentuman guruh menemani lebat titis hujan
tetap
terus ragut rumput yang hanya sedang panjang
terus jalan bersama botol-botol minuman utk jualan
entah siapa lah yang kehausan
Hidup sukar
jutaan nyawa cari rezki Tuhan
jutaan lagi kian datang
generasi bersilih ganti
Yang memimpin perlukan pemimpin
yang mengawal perlukan pengawal
yang kaya perlu kenal Tuhan
yang miskin perlu kekal tahan
siapa utk diharap, kecuali Tuhan?
Realiti, ini realiti.
Mungkin juga cuma aku yang rasa.
Kuingati semula kisah bangsa selatan-tengah rantauan Asia
Hidup sempit
Umpama terpalit dgn perih malang
Aku rasa
Rajin, bangsa rajin
meski terik panas
biar dentuman guruh menemani lebat titis hujan
tetap
terus ragut rumput yang hanya sedang panjang
terus jalan bersama botol-botol minuman utk jualan
entah siapa lah yang kehausan
Hidup sukar
jutaan nyawa cari rezki Tuhan
jutaan lagi kian datang
generasi bersilih ganti
Yang memimpin perlukan pemimpin
yang mengawal perlukan pengawal
yang kaya perlu kenal Tuhan
yang miskin perlu kekal tahan
siapa utk diharap, kecuali Tuhan?
Realiti, ini realiti.
Mungkin juga cuma aku yang rasa.
Thursday, April 05, 2012
The Moral System of Islam
Islam has laid down some universal fundamental rights for humanity as a whole, which are to be observed and respected under all circumstances. To achieve these rights Islam provides not only legal safeguards but also a very effective moral system. Thus whatever leads to the welfare of the individual or the society is morally good in Islam and whatever is injurious is morally bad. Islam attaches so much importance to the love of God and love of man that it warns against too much of formalism. We read in the Quran:
"It is not righteousness that you turn your faces towards East or West; but it is righteousness to believe in God and the Last Day and the Angels, and the Book, and the Messengers; to spend of your substance, out of love for Him, for your kin, for orphans for the needy, for the wayfarer, for those who ask; and for the freeing of captives; to be steadfast in prayers, and practice regular charity; to fulfill the contracts which you made; and to be firm and patient in pain (or suffering) and adversity and throughout all periods of panic. Such are the people of truth, the God-conscious." (2:177)
We are given a beautiful description of the righteous and God-conscious man in these verses. He should obey salutary regulations, but he should fix his gaze on the love of God and the love of his fellow men.
We are given four heads:
Our faith should be true and sincere,
We must be prepared to show it in deeds of charity to our fellow-men,
We must be good citizens, supporting social organizations, and
Our own individual soul must be firm and unshaken in all circumstances.
This is the standard by which a particular mode of conduct is judged and classified as good or bad. This standard of judgment provides the nucleus around which the whole moral conduct should revolve. Before laying down any moral injunctions Islam seeks to firmly implant in man's heart the conviction that his dealings are with God who sees him at all times and in all places; that he may hide himself from the whole world but not from Him; that he may deceive everyone but cannot deceive God; that he can flee from the clutches of anyone else but not from God.
Thus, by setting God's pleasure as the objective of man's life, Islam has furnished the highest possible standard of morality. This is bound to provide limitless avenues for the moral evolution of humanity. By making Divine revelations as the primary source of knowledge it gives permanence and stability to the moral standards which afford reasonable scope for genuine adjustments, adaptations and innovations, though not for perversions, wild variation, atomistic relativism or moral fluidity. It provides a sanction to morality in the love and fear of God, which will impel man to obey the moral law even without any external pressure. Through belief in God and the Day of Judgment it furnishes a force which enables a person to adopt the moral conduct with earnestness and sincerity, with all the devotion of heart and soul.
It does not, through a false sense of originality and innovation, provide any novel moral virtues nor does it seek to minimize the importance of the well-known moral norms, nor does it give exaggerated importance to some and neglect others without cause. It takes up all the commonly known moral virtues and with a sense of balance and proportion it assigns a suitable place and function to each one of them in the total scheme of life. It widens the scope of man's individual and collective life - his domestic associations, his civic conduct, and his activities in the political, economic, legal, educational, and social realms. It covers his life from home to society, from the dining-table to the battlefield and peace conferences, literally from the cradle to the grave. In short, no sphere of life is exempt from the universal and comprehensive application of the moral principles of Islam. It makes morality reign supreme and ensures that the affairs of life, instead of dominated by selfish desires and petty interests, should be regulated by norms of morality.
It stipulates for man a system of life which is based on all good and is free from all evil. It invokes the people, not only to practice virtue, but also to establish virtue and eradicate vice, to bid good and to forbid wrong. It wants that the verdict of conscience should prevail and virtue must not be subdued to play second fiddle to evil. Those who respond to this call are gathered together into a community and given the name "Muslim". And the singular object underlying the formation of this community ("Ummah") is that it should make an organized effort to establish and enforce goodness and suppress and eradicate evil.
Here we furnish some basic moral teachings of Islam for various aspects of a Muslim's life. They cover the broad spectrum of personal moral conduct of a Muslim as well as his social responsibilities.
GOD-CONSCIOUSNESS
The Quran mentions it as the highest quality of a Muslim:
"The most honorable among you in the sight of God is the one who is most God-conscious." (49:13)
Humility, modesty, control of passions and desires, truthfulness, integrity, patience, steadfastness, and fulfilling one's promises are moral values which are emphasized again and again in the Quran. We read in the Quran:
"And God loves those who are firm and steadfast." (3:146)
"And vie with one another to attain to your Sustainer's forgiveness and to a Paradise as vast as the heavens and the earth, which awaits the God-conscious, who spend for charity in time of plenty and in time of hardship, and restrain their anger, and pardon their fellow men, for God loves those who do good." (3:133-134)
"Establish regular prayer, enjoin what is just, and forbid what is wrong; and bear patiently whatever may befall you; for this is true constancy. And do not swell your cheek (with pride) at men, nor walk in insolence on the earth, for God does not love any man proud and boastful. And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; for the harshest of sounds, indeed, is the braying of the ass." (31:18-19)
In a way which summarizes the moral behavior of a Muslim, the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"My Sustainer has given me nine commands: to remain conscious of God, whether in private or in public; to speak justly, whether angry or pleased; to show moderation both when poor and when rich, to reunite friendship with those who have broken off with me; to give to him who refuses me; that my silence should be occupied with thought; that my looking should be an admonition; and that I should command what is right."
SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITIES
The teachings of Islam concerning social responsibilities are based on kindness and consideration of others. Since a broad injunction to be kind is likely to be ignored in specific situations, Islam lays emphasis on specific acts of kindness and defines the responsibilities and rights of various relationships. In a widening circle of relationship, then, our first obligation is to our immediate family - parents, husband or wife and children, then to other relatives, neighbors, friends and acquaintances, orphans and widows, the needy of the community, our fellow Muslims, all our fellow human beings and animals.
PARENTS
Respect and care for parents is very much stressed in the Islamic teaching and is a very important part of a Muslim's expression of faith.
"Your Sustainer has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your lifetime, do not say to them a word of contempt nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility and say: My Sustainer! Bestow on them Your mercy, even as they cherished me in childhood." (17:23-24)
OTHER RELATIVES
"And render to the relatives their due rights, as (also) to those in need, and to the traveler; and do not squander your wealth in the manner of a spendthrift." (17:26)
NEIGHBORS
The Prophet (PBUH) has said:
"He is not a believer who eats his fill when his neighbor beside him is hungry"; and: "He does not believe whose neighbors are not safe from his injurious conduct."
Actually, according to the Quran and Sunnah, a Muslim has to discharge his moral responsibility not only to his parents, relatives and neighbors but to the entire mankind, animals and trees and plants. For example, hunting of birds and animals for the sake of game is not permitted. Similarly, cutting trees and plants which yield fruit is forbidden unless there is a very pressing need for it.
Thus, on the basic moral characteristics, Islam builds a higher system of morality by virtue of which mankind can realize its greatest potential. Islam purifies the soul from self-seeking egotism, tyranny, wantonness and indiscipline. It creates God-conscious men, devoted to their ideals, possessed of piety, abstinence and discipline and uncompromising with falsehood, It induces feelings of moral responsibility and fosters the capacity for self control. Islam generates kindness, generosity, mercy, sympathy, peace, disinterested goodwill, scrupulous fairness and truthfulness towards all creation in all situations. It nourishes noble qualities from which only good may be expected.
Thank you
Islam 101.com
"It is not righteousness that you turn your faces towards East or West; but it is righteousness to believe in God and the Last Day and the Angels, and the Book, and the Messengers; to spend of your substance, out of love for Him, for your kin, for orphans for the needy, for the wayfarer, for those who ask; and for the freeing of captives; to be steadfast in prayers, and practice regular charity; to fulfill the contracts which you made; and to be firm and patient in pain (or suffering) and adversity and throughout all periods of panic. Such are the people of truth, the God-conscious." (2:177)
We are given a beautiful description of the righteous and God-conscious man in these verses. He should obey salutary regulations, but he should fix his gaze on the love of God and the love of his fellow men.
We are given four heads:
Our faith should be true and sincere,
We must be prepared to show it in deeds of charity to our fellow-men,
We must be good citizens, supporting social organizations, and
Our own individual soul must be firm and unshaken in all circumstances.
This is the standard by which a particular mode of conduct is judged and classified as good or bad. This standard of judgment provides the nucleus around which the whole moral conduct should revolve. Before laying down any moral injunctions Islam seeks to firmly implant in man's heart the conviction that his dealings are with God who sees him at all times and in all places; that he may hide himself from the whole world but not from Him; that he may deceive everyone but cannot deceive God; that he can flee from the clutches of anyone else but not from God.
Thus, by setting God's pleasure as the objective of man's life, Islam has furnished the highest possible standard of morality. This is bound to provide limitless avenues for the moral evolution of humanity. By making Divine revelations as the primary source of knowledge it gives permanence and stability to the moral standards which afford reasonable scope for genuine adjustments, adaptations and innovations, though not for perversions, wild variation, atomistic relativism or moral fluidity. It provides a sanction to morality in the love and fear of God, which will impel man to obey the moral law even without any external pressure. Through belief in God and the Day of Judgment it furnishes a force which enables a person to adopt the moral conduct with earnestness and sincerity, with all the devotion of heart and soul.
It does not, through a false sense of originality and innovation, provide any novel moral virtues nor does it seek to minimize the importance of the well-known moral norms, nor does it give exaggerated importance to some and neglect others without cause. It takes up all the commonly known moral virtues and with a sense of balance and proportion it assigns a suitable place and function to each one of them in the total scheme of life. It widens the scope of man's individual and collective life - his domestic associations, his civic conduct, and his activities in the political, economic, legal, educational, and social realms. It covers his life from home to society, from the dining-table to the battlefield and peace conferences, literally from the cradle to the grave. In short, no sphere of life is exempt from the universal and comprehensive application of the moral principles of Islam. It makes morality reign supreme and ensures that the affairs of life, instead of dominated by selfish desires and petty interests, should be regulated by norms of morality.
It stipulates for man a system of life which is based on all good and is free from all evil. It invokes the people, not only to practice virtue, but also to establish virtue and eradicate vice, to bid good and to forbid wrong. It wants that the verdict of conscience should prevail and virtue must not be subdued to play second fiddle to evil. Those who respond to this call are gathered together into a community and given the name "Muslim". And the singular object underlying the formation of this community ("Ummah") is that it should make an organized effort to establish and enforce goodness and suppress and eradicate evil.
Here we furnish some basic moral teachings of Islam for various aspects of a Muslim's life. They cover the broad spectrum of personal moral conduct of a Muslim as well as his social responsibilities.
GOD-CONSCIOUSNESS
The Quran mentions it as the highest quality of a Muslim:
"The most honorable among you in the sight of God is the one who is most God-conscious." (49:13)
Humility, modesty, control of passions and desires, truthfulness, integrity, patience, steadfastness, and fulfilling one's promises are moral values which are emphasized again and again in the Quran. We read in the Quran:
"And God loves those who are firm and steadfast." (3:146)
"And vie with one another to attain to your Sustainer's forgiveness and to a Paradise as vast as the heavens and the earth, which awaits the God-conscious, who spend for charity in time of plenty and in time of hardship, and restrain their anger, and pardon their fellow men, for God loves those who do good." (3:133-134)
"Establish regular prayer, enjoin what is just, and forbid what is wrong; and bear patiently whatever may befall you; for this is true constancy. And do not swell your cheek (with pride) at men, nor walk in insolence on the earth, for God does not love any man proud and boastful. And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; for the harshest of sounds, indeed, is the braying of the ass." (31:18-19)
In a way which summarizes the moral behavior of a Muslim, the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"My Sustainer has given me nine commands: to remain conscious of God, whether in private or in public; to speak justly, whether angry or pleased; to show moderation both when poor and when rich, to reunite friendship with those who have broken off with me; to give to him who refuses me; that my silence should be occupied with thought; that my looking should be an admonition; and that I should command what is right."
SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITIES
The teachings of Islam concerning social responsibilities are based on kindness and consideration of others. Since a broad injunction to be kind is likely to be ignored in specific situations, Islam lays emphasis on specific acts of kindness and defines the responsibilities and rights of various relationships. In a widening circle of relationship, then, our first obligation is to our immediate family - parents, husband or wife and children, then to other relatives, neighbors, friends and acquaintances, orphans and widows, the needy of the community, our fellow Muslims, all our fellow human beings and animals.
PARENTS
Respect and care for parents is very much stressed in the Islamic teaching and is a very important part of a Muslim's expression of faith.
"Your Sustainer has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your lifetime, do not say to them a word of contempt nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility and say: My Sustainer! Bestow on them Your mercy, even as they cherished me in childhood." (17:23-24)
OTHER RELATIVES
"And render to the relatives their due rights, as (also) to those in need, and to the traveler; and do not squander your wealth in the manner of a spendthrift." (17:26)
NEIGHBORS
The Prophet (PBUH) has said:
"He is not a believer who eats his fill when his neighbor beside him is hungry"; and: "He does not believe whose neighbors are not safe from his injurious conduct."
Actually, according to the Quran and Sunnah, a Muslim has to discharge his moral responsibility not only to his parents, relatives and neighbors but to the entire mankind, animals and trees and plants. For example, hunting of birds and animals for the sake of game is not permitted. Similarly, cutting trees and plants which yield fruit is forbidden unless there is a very pressing need for it.
Thus, on the basic moral characteristics, Islam builds a higher system of morality by virtue of which mankind can realize its greatest potential. Islam purifies the soul from self-seeking egotism, tyranny, wantonness and indiscipline. It creates God-conscious men, devoted to their ideals, possessed of piety, abstinence and discipline and uncompromising with falsehood, It induces feelings of moral responsibility and fosters the capacity for self control. Islam generates kindness, generosity, mercy, sympathy, peace, disinterested goodwill, scrupulous fairness and truthfulness towards all creation in all situations. It nourishes noble qualities from which only good may be expected.
Thank you
Islam 101.com
Monday, March 26, 2012
Grateful and Grateful.
Bismillahirrahmannirrahim,
"Actions are but by intentions and every man shall have only that which he intended. Thus he whose migration (Hijrah to Madeenah from Makkah) was for Allaah and His Messenger, his migration was for Allaah and His Messenger, and he whose migration was to achieve some worldly benefit or to take some woman in marriage, his migration was for that for which he migrated."
Assalamualaikum,
Entry kali ini saya ingin share few things tentang sifat-sifat manusia and macam mana kita boleh mengatasi masalah utk bergaul dgn semua orang. Baru baru ini, sekali lagi saya telah mengecilkan hati seorang sahabat saya melalui perckpan sy. mengikut pandangan sy tentang apa yg saya rasa, ramai org berckp melalui apa yg dia expect atau mengikut penerimaan org lain. mainly, apa yg dia rasa benar dan patut.
setelah beberapa kali experience masalah ini dgn ramai orang, pada pendapat sy, adalah fundamental utk kita mengenali sifat2 diri kita sendiri juga sifat2 org2 di sekeliling kita utk mengelakkan kejadian2 seperti ini.
pendapat saya tentang diri saya: setelah sy berbincang dgn few sahabat utk mencari options solusi kepada masalah sy yg baru2 ini.
kami sependapat yg sy mempunyai karakter dominant person and sy adalah seorg yg direct. setelah sy menilai suggestion sahabat sy tntg diri sy, ya sy bersetuju insyaAllah. sifat sy yg dominant ini pd pendapat mereka tidak menganggu mereka namun ia membuatkan mereka 'tidak berani' utk menegur sy. namun, ada sahabat yg lain bersetuju yg saya adalah org yg mudah menerima teguran secara direct.
sy membuat sedikit research tentang diri sy agar mudah sy memahami apa yg orang rasa dgn sy:
Menurut Willian Frank Dietrich dlm "working with dominant people" org dominant selalu direferkan sebagai those people who tend to take charge, to be little abrupt, seem to be arrogant, to be impatient, and don't always listen. It's their way or the highway in many cases. Many people are intimidated by Dominant people. Most of us do not like conflict, but Dominant people always seem willing to create it.
sy bersetuju dgn setiap yg dia suggest tntg dominant ppl, sebagai contoh,
1. mereka sngt focus on task sehingga perasaan org lain kurang terlihat dalam "radar screen" mereka. bukan kerana mereka tidak care, namun mereka kurang aware.
2. mereka adalah golongan yg akan mengejar apa yg dirasakan benar selagi tiada tentangan atau counter argument yg mereka mungkin tersilap. mereka adalah "go for it" person - which some ppl say they are aggressive
3. Kdg kala mereka boleh mencelah perbualan sekiranya dirasakan perlu seperti terdapat gap masa antara perbualan anda dgn orng lain yg menjelaskan seperti anda sedang exhaust your mind utk teruskan perbualan atau seperti anda memerlukan bantuan mereka.
4. mereka adalah result-oriented person. sebab itu kdg2 mereka agak pushy
5. Mereka direct dan jujur (honest) dalam setiap yg dilakukan dan ini adalah masalah besar dlm kehidupan seharian
Dan lain2.
kali ini sy mahu kongsi tentang bagaimana utk deal dgn org2 seperti saya, bear in mind semua sifat2 di atas tadi:
1. anda perlu belajar utk speak up utk perkara yg dirasakan perlu dibincangkan dengannya. kata William "This is where the problem comes. People don't want to confront. They keep quiet, or they speak in vague terms, or they avoid altogether. None of these strategies work.They enable the Dominant person to keep on being insensitive. "
2. Berckp dengan tegas dan tenang dgn org yg dominant tersebut tntg suggestion anda. Kalo anda benar, jelaskan yg anda benar tanpa alasan yg tidak munasabah dan excuses. Kalo anda salah, mengaku yg anda salah dan berikan suggestion yg anda berupaya utk membetulkan. Dgn tegas dan tenang, mereka akan lebih menghormati anda.
3. Jika sikap aggressive mereka melampaui expectation anda, speak up. contoh William, "I once had a Dominant manager who interrupted my report in a meeting and then went on to other business. I met him in his office later. I told him I did not appreciate his interrupting and then eliminating my part of the meeting. I expressed my expectation that I should be able to clearly and concisely speak my part. I made sure I presented myself in a rational way. He didn't realize what he had done and apologized. In other words, if I hadn't told him, he would never had known. I could have kept quiet and nursed my grievance, but how would that have taught him how to treat me?"
4. Jika merasakan mereka terlalu pushy, katakan seperti anda sedang mencari lebih bukti atau informasi utk memastikan anda lebih confident.
5. belajar utk bersikap lebih persuasive dan tegas (firm) daripada sentiasa memikirkan bagaimana teruknya dia.
InsyaAllah, sy bersetuju dgn suggestion2 yg diberikan dalam article tersebut. Saya akan membuat research on bagaimana saya sebagai dominant person deal dgn org yang berlainan character. InsyaAllah sy akan share dlm posting seterusnya.
sy memetik kata2 William sebagai penutup posting ini
"Each personality style has its own unique qualities. Understanding others makes it easier to deal with them. It makes it easier to connect with people in both personal and professional situations. Our resistance to the styles of others makes us ineffective. Complaining about the way others do things distracts us from learning how to work with them. We need to shift our tendency to see people in terms of their faults to an ability to see them in terms of their needs. What does this person need to be great? That is the question we, as leaders, will ask ourselves when we are confronted with others who are motivated differently than we are."
Afwan kepada semua yg sy pernah terkecilkan hati, truly sy tak punya niat utk buat macam tu.
This is fundamental especially dalam sistem dakwah dan tarbiyyah kita semua.
Till here, Peace be upon you, good people :)
"Actions are but by intentions and every man shall have only that which he intended. Thus he whose migration (Hijrah to Madeenah from Makkah) was for Allaah and His Messenger, his migration was for Allaah and His Messenger, and he whose migration was to achieve some worldly benefit or to take some woman in marriage, his migration was for that for which he migrated."
Assalamualaikum,
Entry kali ini saya ingin share few things tentang sifat-sifat manusia and macam mana kita boleh mengatasi masalah utk bergaul dgn semua orang. Baru baru ini, sekali lagi saya telah mengecilkan hati seorang sahabat saya melalui perckpan sy. mengikut pandangan sy tentang apa yg saya rasa, ramai org berckp melalui apa yg dia expect atau mengikut penerimaan org lain. mainly, apa yg dia rasa benar dan patut.
setelah beberapa kali experience masalah ini dgn ramai orang, pada pendapat sy, adalah fundamental utk kita mengenali sifat2 diri kita sendiri juga sifat2 org2 di sekeliling kita utk mengelakkan kejadian2 seperti ini.
pendapat saya tentang diri saya: setelah sy berbincang dgn few sahabat utk mencari options solusi kepada masalah sy yg baru2 ini.
kami sependapat yg sy mempunyai karakter dominant person and sy adalah seorg yg direct. setelah sy menilai suggestion sahabat sy tntg diri sy, ya sy bersetuju insyaAllah. sifat sy yg dominant ini pd pendapat mereka tidak menganggu mereka namun ia membuatkan mereka 'tidak berani' utk menegur sy. namun, ada sahabat yg lain bersetuju yg saya adalah org yg mudah menerima teguran secara direct.
sy membuat sedikit research tentang diri sy agar mudah sy memahami apa yg orang rasa dgn sy:
Menurut Willian Frank Dietrich dlm "working with dominant people" org dominant selalu direferkan sebagai those people who tend to take charge, to be little abrupt, seem to be arrogant, to be impatient, and don't always listen. It's their way or the highway in many cases. Many people are intimidated by Dominant people. Most of us do not like conflict, but Dominant people always seem willing to create it.
sy bersetuju dgn setiap yg dia suggest tntg dominant ppl, sebagai contoh,
1. mereka sngt focus on task sehingga perasaan org lain kurang terlihat dalam "radar screen" mereka. bukan kerana mereka tidak care, namun mereka kurang aware.
2. mereka adalah golongan yg akan mengejar apa yg dirasakan benar selagi tiada tentangan atau counter argument yg mereka mungkin tersilap. mereka adalah "go for it" person - which some ppl say they are aggressive
3. Kdg kala mereka boleh mencelah perbualan sekiranya dirasakan perlu seperti terdapat gap masa antara perbualan anda dgn orng lain yg menjelaskan seperti anda sedang exhaust your mind utk teruskan perbualan atau seperti anda memerlukan bantuan mereka.
4. mereka adalah result-oriented person. sebab itu kdg2 mereka agak pushy
5. Mereka direct dan jujur (honest) dalam setiap yg dilakukan dan ini adalah masalah besar dlm kehidupan seharian
Dan lain2.
kali ini sy mahu kongsi tentang bagaimana utk deal dgn org2 seperti saya, bear in mind semua sifat2 di atas tadi:
1. anda perlu belajar utk speak up utk perkara yg dirasakan perlu dibincangkan dengannya. kata William "This is where the problem comes. People don't want to confront. They keep quiet, or they speak in vague terms, or they avoid altogether. None of these strategies work.They enable the Dominant person to keep on being insensitive. "
2. Berckp dengan tegas dan tenang dgn org yg dominant tersebut tntg suggestion anda. Kalo anda benar, jelaskan yg anda benar tanpa alasan yg tidak munasabah dan excuses. Kalo anda salah, mengaku yg anda salah dan berikan suggestion yg anda berupaya utk membetulkan. Dgn tegas dan tenang, mereka akan lebih menghormati anda.
3. Jika sikap aggressive mereka melampaui expectation anda, speak up. contoh William, "I once had a Dominant manager who interrupted my report in a meeting and then went on to other business. I met him in his office later. I told him I did not appreciate his interrupting and then eliminating my part of the meeting. I expressed my expectation that I should be able to clearly and concisely speak my part. I made sure I presented myself in a rational way. He didn't realize what he had done and apologized. In other words, if I hadn't told him, he would never had known. I could have kept quiet and nursed my grievance, but how would that have taught him how to treat me?"
4. Jika merasakan mereka terlalu pushy, katakan seperti anda sedang mencari lebih bukti atau informasi utk memastikan anda lebih confident.
5. belajar utk bersikap lebih persuasive dan tegas (firm) daripada sentiasa memikirkan bagaimana teruknya dia.
InsyaAllah, sy bersetuju dgn suggestion2 yg diberikan dalam article tersebut. Saya akan membuat research on bagaimana saya sebagai dominant person deal dgn org yang berlainan character. InsyaAllah sy akan share dlm posting seterusnya.
sy memetik kata2 William sebagai penutup posting ini
"Each personality style has its own unique qualities. Understanding others makes it easier to deal with them. It makes it easier to connect with people in both personal and professional situations. Our resistance to the styles of others makes us ineffective. Complaining about the way others do things distracts us from learning how to work with them. We need to shift our tendency to see people in terms of their faults to an ability to see them in terms of their needs. What does this person need to be great? That is the question we, as leaders, will ask ourselves when we are confronted with others who are motivated differently than we are."
Afwan kepada semua yg sy pernah terkecilkan hati, truly sy tak punya niat utk buat macam tu.
This is fundamental especially dalam sistem dakwah dan tarbiyyah kita semua.
Till here, Peace be upon you, good people :)
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Journey
I failed myself again and again.
Keep doing things i hate most
I am fragile to listen to all those nonsence
I feel weak, i feel dumb
I am not who i am
or maybe i am this dumb
I have alot to do
yet i fail to obey my own time rules
i feel insecure
i feel incompetent
i cant handle you.
Dont come near me or ill hurt you
coz im the stupidest girl u will know the truth
its just myself learning my own stupidity
yet i am the one who is badly hurt inside, not you.
I live in courage and fear
both can change at a sec
worldly matters scare me to the bottom
because i am fragile i told you
I dont want him or him nor i want you
You are wonderful u deserve the girl, i dont know who
but surely she is better with Lord thus she is better for you
le most complicated girl on earth, thats me.
Keep doing things i hate most
I am fragile to listen to all those nonsence
I feel weak, i feel dumb
I am not who i am
or maybe i am this dumb
I have alot to do
yet i fail to obey my own time rules
i feel insecure
i feel incompetent
i cant handle you.
Dont come near me or ill hurt you
coz im the stupidest girl u will know the truth
its just myself learning my own stupidity
yet i am the one who is badly hurt inside, not you.
I live in courage and fear
both can change at a sec
worldly matters scare me to the bottom
because i am fragile i told you
I dont want him or him nor i want you
You are wonderful u deserve the girl, i dont know who
but surely she is better with Lord thus she is better for you
le most complicated girl on earth, thats me.
Tuesday, March 06, 2012
Keajaiban Alam
Baru baru ini saya berpeluang untuk bertemu dengan seorang Muslim convert dari Gold Coast. Alhamdulillah saya sangat gembira kerana Allah makbulkan doa saya untuk membantu seorang lagi sahabat Australian saya, Kimberly atau Kim. InsyaAllah semua hubungan mereka berkekalan walaupun setelah kepulangan saya ke Malaysia.
Dan tengahari tadi, saya berpeluang sekali lagi utk bertemu dgn beliau, kami buat satu sharing session. antara yang beliau sentuh adalah bagaimana hebatnya kejadian alam ciptaan Allah. Since dia memegang environmental science degree, tumpuan nya lebih kepada alam sekitar. Alhamdulillah.
Surah Al Hijr ayat 16 - 29
[16] Dan demi sesungguhnya! Kami telah menjadikan di langit: bintang-bintang (yang berbagai bentuk dan keadaan) serta kami hiasi langit itu bagi orang-orang yang melihatnya.
[17] Dan Kami pelihara (urusan) langit itu dari (masuk campur) tiap-tiap Syaitan yang kena rejam.
[18] Kecuali Syaitan yang curi mendengar percakapan (malaikat di langit), maka ia diburu dan diikuti (dengan rejaman) api yang menyala, yang nyata kelihatan.
[19] Dan bumi ini Kami bentangkan, dan Kami letakkan padanya gunung-ganang yang kukuh terdiri, serta Kami tumbuhkan padanya tiap-tiap sesuatu yang tertentu timbangannya.
[20] Dan Kami jadikan untuk kamu pada bumi ini segala keperluan hidup, juga Kami jadikan makhluk-makhluk yang kamu bukanlah orang yang sebenar menyediakan rezekinya.
[21] Dan tidak ada sesuatupun melainkan pada sisi Kami sahaja perbendaharaannya dan Kami tidak menurunkannya melainkan dengan menurut kadar dan masa yang tertentu.
[22] Dan Kami hantarkan angin sebagai pembawa air dan pemindah benih; maka dengan itu Kami menurunkan air (hujan) dari langit, kemudian Kami berikan kamu meminumnya; dan bukanlah kamu yang (berkuasa menurunkannya atau) menyimpannya.
[23] Dan sesungguhnya Kamilah yang menghidupkan dan yang mematikan, dan Kamilah yang kekal memiliki segala-galanya.
[24] Dan sesungguhnya Kami telah mengetahui orang-orang yang segera (berbakti) di antara kamu, dan sesungguhnya Kami telah mengetahui orang-orang yang lambat.
[25] Dan sesungguhnya Tuhanmu, Dia lah yang menghimpunkan mereka semuanya; sesungguhnya Ia Maha Bijaksana, lagi Maha Mengetahui.
[26] Dan sesungguhnya Kami telah menciptakan manusia (Adam) dari tanah liat yang kering, yang berasal dari tanah kental yang berubah warna dan baunya.
[27] Dan jin pula, Kami jadikan dia sebelum itu, dari angin api yang panasnya menyerap ke liang bulu roma.
[28] Dan (ingatkanlah peristiwa) ketika Tuhanmu berfirman kepada malaikat: “Sesungguhnya Aku hendak menciptakan manusia dari tanah liat yang kering, yang berasal dari tanah kental yang berubah warna dan baunya.
[29] “Kemudian apabila Aku sempurnakan kejadiannya, serta Aku tiupkan padanya roh dari (ciptaan) ku, maka hendaklah kamu sujud kepadanya.
Dan tengahari tadi, saya berpeluang sekali lagi utk bertemu dgn beliau, kami buat satu sharing session. antara yang beliau sentuh adalah bagaimana hebatnya kejadian alam ciptaan Allah. Since dia memegang environmental science degree, tumpuan nya lebih kepada alam sekitar. Alhamdulillah.
Surah Al Hijr ayat 16 - 29
[16] Dan demi sesungguhnya! Kami telah menjadikan di langit: bintang-bintang (yang berbagai bentuk dan keadaan) serta kami hiasi langit itu bagi orang-orang yang melihatnya.
[17] Dan Kami pelihara (urusan) langit itu dari (masuk campur) tiap-tiap Syaitan yang kena rejam.
[18] Kecuali Syaitan yang curi mendengar percakapan (malaikat di langit), maka ia diburu dan diikuti (dengan rejaman) api yang menyala, yang nyata kelihatan.
[19] Dan bumi ini Kami bentangkan, dan Kami letakkan padanya gunung-ganang yang kukuh terdiri, serta Kami tumbuhkan padanya tiap-tiap sesuatu yang tertentu timbangannya.
[20] Dan Kami jadikan untuk kamu pada bumi ini segala keperluan hidup, juga Kami jadikan makhluk-makhluk yang kamu bukanlah orang yang sebenar menyediakan rezekinya.
[21] Dan tidak ada sesuatupun melainkan pada sisi Kami sahaja perbendaharaannya dan Kami tidak menurunkannya melainkan dengan menurut kadar dan masa yang tertentu.
[22] Dan Kami hantarkan angin sebagai pembawa air dan pemindah benih; maka dengan itu Kami menurunkan air (hujan) dari langit, kemudian Kami berikan kamu meminumnya; dan bukanlah kamu yang (berkuasa menurunkannya atau) menyimpannya.
[23] Dan sesungguhnya Kamilah yang menghidupkan dan yang mematikan, dan Kamilah yang kekal memiliki segala-galanya.
[24] Dan sesungguhnya Kami telah mengetahui orang-orang yang segera (berbakti) di antara kamu, dan sesungguhnya Kami telah mengetahui orang-orang yang lambat.
[25] Dan sesungguhnya Tuhanmu, Dia lah yang menghimpunkan mereka semuanya; sesungguhnya Ia Maha Bijaksana, lagi Maha Mengetahui.
[26] Dan sesungguhnya Kami telah menciptakan manusia (Adam) dari tanah liat yang kering, yang berasal dari tanah kental yang berubah warna dan baunya.
[27] Dan jin pula, Kami jadikan dia sebelum itu, dari angin api yang panasnya menyerap ke liang bulu roma.
[28] Dan (ingatkanlah peristiwa) ketika Tuhanmu berfirman kepada malaikat: “Sesungguhnya Aku hendak menciptakan manusia dari tanah liat yang kering, yang berasal dari tanah kental yang berubah warna dan baunya.
[29] “Kemudian apabila Aku sempurnakan kejadiannya, serta Aku tiupkan padanya roh dari (ciptaan) ku, maka hendaklah kamu sujud kepadanya.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Equity; not equality.
Assalamualaikum,
I believe and i have seen people fighting for equality, for example the feminist. Equity suggests fairness and just treatment while equality suggests equal treatment. Understand the difference. To be honest, in my personal opinion, equity sits at a higher rank of justice than equality.
A very simple example can be illustrated to suggest their difference. I have a sister who is 12 years old while i myself is 22. Being equal means my abah (dad) has to buy the same baju kurung (or tee shirt) of either my size or my sister’s size for both of us which would then fit only one of us. If the shirts was in my size, my sister wont look good in it and she wouldnt be able to wear it because it’s just too big for her. If the shirts were in her size, i would not be able to wear it. Say if i wear it, i WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO properly cover my aurah and my body. It will be just too small for me. Besides that, it will create wastage to the economy as well as to our natural resources to produce clothes that are really not according to our size and our needs. Most importantly, in this situation, my abah is not being fair to me or my sister if any of this happen.
Similarly, in the situation of feminism or any other so-called equality boost idea. I am not saying that i do not support some of them, but really i support some that are really fighting for equity (just and fairness). Mind that i am a Muslim, i trust what the Muslims have in our religion are PERFECT. If we really do practice Islam in our life, we can see that women are liberated, children are cherished, animals are protected and men are free etc
I believe and i have seen people fighting for equality, for example the feminist. Equity suggests fairness and just treatment while equality suggests equal treatment. Understand the difference. To be honest, in my personal opinion, equity sits at a higher rank of justice than equality.
A very simple example can be illustrated to suggest their difference. I have a sister who is 12 years old while i myself is 22. Being equal means my abah (dad) has to buy the same baju kurung (or tee shirt) of either my size or my sister’s size for both of us which would then fit only one of us. If the shirts was in my size, my sister wont look good in it and she wouldnt be able to wear it because it’s just too big for her. If the shirts were in her size, i would not be able to wear it. Say if i wear it, i WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO properly cover my aurah and my body. It will be just too small for me. Besides that, it will create wastage to the economy as well as to our natural resources to produce clothes that are really not according to our size and our needs. Most importantly, in this situation, my abah is not being fair to me or my sister if any of this happen.
Similarly, in the situation of feminism or any other so-called equality boost idea. I am not saying that i do not support some of them, but really i support some that are really fighting for equity (just and fairness). Mind that i am a Muslim, i trust what the Muslims have in our religion are PERFECT. If we really do practice Islam in our life, we can see that women are liberated, children are cherished, animals are protected and men are free etc
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Apa di hatimu
Apa di hatimu?
Saat ini,
detik ini
Ketika ini.
Apa di hatimu?
Jangan berdusta.
Dusta,
Hanya khayalan minda
Cuba kau berlari terus kedepan,
Khayalan mu masih sirna,
ada dalam kampus fikiran.
Tak penat terus berkhayal dalam larianmu?
Terus menyimpan dan berpura
seolah ia realiti yang kau hidupi.
Tak perit kau menahan?
Terkagum aku dengan perilaku kebodohan.
Luahkan,
Dunia dan keseronokan dunia di hatimu
Cinta pura-pura mainanmu.
Bagaimana hendak bahagiamu?
Jika cinta pada Tuhanmu
Kau buang seolah ialah khayalan.
Saat ini,
detik ini
Ketika ini.
Apa di hatimu?
Jangan berdusta.
Dusta,
Hanya khayalan minda
Cuba kau berlari terus kedepan,
Khayalan mu masih sirna,
ada dalam kampus fikiran.
Tak penat terus berkhayal dalam larianmu?
Terus menyimpan dan berpura
seolah ia realiti yang kau hidupi.
Tak perit kau menahan?
Terkagum aku dengan perilaku kebodohan.
Luahkan,
Dunia dan keseronokan dunia di hatimu
Cinta pura-pura mainanmu.
Bagaimana hendak bahagiamu?
Jika cinta pada Tuhanmu
Kau buang seolah ialah khayalan.
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